So recently I had surgery on my stomach along with a bout of pneumonia a month later which I am still recovering from. I used to be a heroin addict and I have rheumatoid arthritis fibromyalgia and degenerative disc disorder which causes chronic pain and I’m soon to be going to the pain clinic for pain medicine and treatment and and struggling with the whole dual diagnosis can I control my use of opiates right now and I’ve so far maintained but it’s just getting kind of fearful for my sobriety play if a doctor prescribes that it’s okay according to the text but I don’t want to use it so I’m looking for a people in my life that I can trust to help me stay accountable sorry I haven’t posted in awhile it’s been hectic my best friend passed away and as I said I’ve had medical issues and I’m looking for employment so that’s why I haven’t been posting and also I am in the middle of applying for disability which is taking forever and Medicaid so that I don’t have to pay absorbent amounts of money for doctors my specialist included any comments would be great love you guys bye

So just an update we finally got our apartment and it’s nice studio one bedroom one block from the ocean. We haven’t been in therapy because of the whole Corona Virus thing or working. We’re having trouble finishing my disability application because of this stupid virus it’s very irritating! But also since we’ve been cooped up we decided to use my knowledge of Psychology and personal experiences with DID to formulate a therapy specific for treating clients with DID so if anyone has any suggestions please please please send us thoughts, ideas, and experiences of what worked what therapies you’ve tried and anything else you think would help me to do this. I have a 4 phases model but 1-3 are the only required phases while 4 is used for integration if your system wants to do that. If you can please send me anything you experienced with effective treatments and techniques used by your therapist thanks love y’all!

Love’s

1. Never being alone in my head I’ve always got a conversation going on inside my head or more fun and interesting out loud. This was a comfort because for so long I thought I was crazy because I’d talk out loud to myself and reply which you know is Crazy Right? But then I found out it was my system usually responding and through journaling I learned my systems names ages and likes dislikes so it’s like having my own personal family which was a huge relief because first I wasn’t psychotic lol. Second I had a fear of abandonment for years and no therapy helped until I started becoming co-conscious of my system which in turn got rid of the abandonment issues!

2. So for years since I was 16 I had gone to a Rheumotologist for a lot of autoimmune issues Juevenile Rheumotoid Arthritis, Fibromyalgia, Raynauds phenomena eccetra. Anyways I had to get bloodwork every three months to see what my blood levels where and my doctor was amazed after a year of bloodwork because never in 30 years of practicing medicine had he seen a patient test positive for RA Factor and positive for antinuclear antibodies and then 3 months later negative and then positive for 6 months then negative again it’s legit unheard of. And it wasn’t the labs fault he checked. So what’s amazing about this is my host personality has a bunch of medical issues and some alters have asthma and epilepsy recently narcolepsy as well and co occurring mental illness as well different alters different diagnoses. Anyways what’s amazing is that your body and mind actually separate and can develop different diseases or conditions or in my case test positive one month negative another for a test that once you turn positive you never should be negative again. Lmfao!

3. I had and sometimes still have a legitimate and honest I don’t remember saying or doing that card. I used to get very mad at my system for the amnesia because I would say or do something and my parents or friends would be like you said “blah blah blah” or crashed my car and now that it doesn’t happen as much though I still have it on a less frequent basis. I miss it! It was kinda like drinking blacking out and realizing you did all this crazy cool stuff or not so cool stuff by someone else’s experiences of it and no memory. But now I remember everything mostly and it sucks.

4. I used to have to go to daily AA/NA meetings for drug addiction now that my alcoholic/druggie alter. Mimi and I talk internally now and I only go to a meeting when she wants to go. And second since I have a lot of medical issues I’m obviously one a lot of medications some narcotics when I used to abuse them now I can literally take them as prescribed and have my therapist count my meds weekly as a backup in case Mimi wants to take more or front but the whole system agreed to make sure Mimi’s needs are met emotionally which she agreed to only front when she’s really stressed or lonely and we go to the meeting co-conscious.

5. I have a legit superpower as do all people with DID do.

Hate’s

1. Some doctors and therapists even friends and family think I fake this.

2. When I switch at night and don’t get any sleep because a Teenie wanted to binge watch his or her favorite show on Netflix for the whole night.

3. Having people kinda back off when I say I have DID because of what the media portrays us as

4. Having so many thoughts and interests that I couldn’t pick a college major and stick to one. Finally we all agreed psychology because we can help people like us and we like helping people! Thank the Gods!

So first thing definitions. Repression is the active and defensive coping mechanism usually done unconsciously. While dissociation is automatic, psychologically passive, and an active motivated defense. Repressed materials are usually experienced, digested, subconsciously encoded, and then forgotten. In contrast dissociation occurs when someone cannot integrate and synthesize experience, and dissociated material is organized in such a way one state requires the exclusion of another state or realm of experience. The metaphor of repression would be horizontal splitting while dissociation is vertical splitting. For example if my dad abused me growing up if I repressed the memories I would deny them ever happening while if I dissociated one state might say “my dad was a great man” while another would be constantly reliving the trauma. Now repression and dissociation can occur separately or together

So one awesome thing about dissociative identity disorder is that most alters (except fragments) each alter has its own Id, Ego, and Superego. So as stated before alters have the capacity for repression and the system usually uses dissociation at least in my personal experience with it as a last resort option and repression as first unless it’s a new trauma which it then would just dissociate.

So let me start off by saying I trust very few people and love fewer because of the trauma’s I’ve endured. But once I love you friend, family, or partner I am the loyalist person you’ll meet, most of the time. The other percentage of the time to be completely honest probably pushing you away to some extent. Nevertheless I do still love all my friends and family that’s supported me even if I act off my rocker sometimes. I admit I have some alters who have a convuluted way of protecting the System be it switching and cussing for apparently no reason or in the case of my adoptive parents one of my fragments sometimes will even get violent and then have no memory of the incident. Which when I am informed of later makes me feel like a burden and even more maladapted then I was before because I feel responsible am responsible for my alters I feel like. So I am going to relate an incident that often happened when I was younger and got triggered before I was diagnosed with my parents. Especially my mother sadly. I would yell scream or cuss at her until my father would try to break us up and then end up either running out of the house or fighting him and her till the police and EMTS where called. This happened maybe once a year growing up and lesser and lesser as I was diagnosed and started treatment. Now that I am back in South Carolina though I moved back in to my old childhood house and hadn’t been properly taking my meds or seeing a therapist because my Medicaid wouldn’t transfer from Ohio. I had started having vivid flashbacks of those incidents as a child and even traumatic flashbacks and switching went from a only in the session with my therapist and maybe when really stressed at college or triggered maybe once weekly to a daily even hourly thing. I consistently told my father and mother I needed to get properly medicated and see a therapist ASAP. But to see a psychiatrist was 3 months away and my mother and father were sick of paying for doctors and shrinks so they kept putting it off or my alters would self sabotage the appointments by forgetting to set a reminder. So I had the incident with the car when both my parents where away and when my mom flew back she started yelling at me all I remember is feeling small again and a burden that shouldn’t live anymore so I attempted suicide with my anxiety medicine at the time. Anyways spent 4 days in the hospital and was released with referalls to mental health follow ups and temporary pills. But the flashbacks wouldn’t stop and my mom yelling “Get out!” Wouldn’t leave my head and of all the fucked up shit that happened to me kept causing panic attacks and mini seizures and insomnia or hypersomnia. I lasted about a two weeks before my persecutor alter came out when my mom was recording me switching and tried to take her phone to delete the film’s to protect the system but I had been throwing a temper tantrum I guess cussing and screaming horrible stuff to both my parents for seemingly no reason to them. Anyways me and my dad and mom ended up fighting and I broke my dad’s phone cops arrested me for assault and malicious damage but could see I was still very mentally ill. So they sent me to the hospital where again I stayed for 3 days and then was sent to jail anyways I plead guilty to crimes I have no memory of except flashbacks sometimes which horrify me remind me of my childhood fights except I had turned into the big figure of my father. Anyways my parents had decided a few years ago to put the house on the market and it ended up selling not shortly after I got out of doing 30 days in jail. And me and my dad are speaking daily which is a good sign and he says he’s not abandoning me by moving to Florida which I was supposed to accompany them too and I believe him. But anyways I am currently in a men’s shelter, waiting on getting on Medicaid and Disability which can take anywhere from 4 to 6 months down here. I do have a therapy intake this Tuesday which I am excited for and then I have an appointment for my medications to be refilled. Anyways there is tremendous guilt that some alters can put on others in a system and I just want to say I am unmedicated right now but I do feel semi confident about being on the right track to starting my life back and getting some peace back by going to school and doing yoga and meditation a lot reading. And this article just turned into a war story sorry. But anyways my point is We don’t have to let setbacks derail us of our objectives. We can persevere and succeed. My mom and dad are still processing the whole incident and my diagnosis of DID though I tried to educate them it seems maybe they’ll never understand the traumatic experience to cause one on them has inflicted on my soul. So starting this blog was first about educating and relating to people with DID or family or friends of someone with it and also a side hobby to occupy my time while I wait for my medical and disability to come through so I can move to Colorado where I have some family support. The blogs changed into a humbling and great testimony that even though that guilt still hurts me, I am unmedicated, not in therapy, but able to start to get some independence and autonomy though with a few setbacks of switching sometimes obiviously, a lot of flashbacks, but with hope anything is possible I am surprised I am not in the psych hospital yet to be truthful but I have those appointments and a Cher concert to go to in two weeks and will be medicated and on the right path towards greatness and the ability to truly right the wrongs and help someone else in these circumstances and disorders.

So to start off I am writing a trigger warning to those with the disorder meaning some material will or could trigger you to have flashbacks so if you aren’t in therapy now or in a good headspace with your system please stop reading now.

I have very little memory of my childhood though most are fond. I was adopted at birth by two loving parents who lived in Connecticut. I had a lot of abandonment issues and when I did start memory work a lot of those issues came to light.

First being I was neglected multiple times by a babysitter at age 2. Second molested by someone I believe a female at ages 4 and 6 though I don’t remember all details. Third, I was I was constantly sent to psychiatric hospitals from age 2 on because of my weird behaviors and a multitude of diagnosises attached to me by age 11 when my sister who was the only one I felt a close bond with died in an accidental overdose. I was always bullied of and made fun of for as long as I remember and I acted out a lot to get my parents attention because they both worked which I understood logically but emotionally I felt abandoned. When I was 14 or 15 I was sent to Department of Juvenile Justice in SC for being encouragable and molested in there and hooked on a bunch of narcotics for my physical conditions that started to develop. I had my aunt and uncle die whom I loved die from cancer when I was 17. And during my teen years I was on Grindr a gay dating app hooking up underage with older men because my father was at work and my mom verbally and emotionally tormented me as well as kids in my school so I used these men who I now realized molested me over and over again. When I was 16 my hair fell out and I found out I had juevanile Rheumotoid. Arthritis along with a gamet of other autoimmune diseases. Once I graduated high school I went to college and lived in a dorm style apartment alone and hosted lots of parties to drown out the flashbacks depression and anxiety that plagued me and of course slept around. I also got hooked on heroin since it was cheaper than my painkillers at that time or my alter Mimi took hold of body and mind for a couple of years. I went to rehab got clean would relapse wouldn’t know or remember how and think it was the drugs. My best friends Christine and Victoria left me then as friends because of my spiral and my bestie Carly died.  4 years ago I had been receiving help with relapsing and also counseling and psychiatry but my real problem wasn’t drugs it was the constant flashbacks, panic attacks, depression, and amnesia that’s plagued me for years drugs were my escape. It’s been almost a year and a half since my last relapse thank god. I realized as I did self exploration and journaling and found myself through that that NA/AA were only applicable when Mimi was in control of my body so I only go when she has control and am aware of her. I was diagnosed with DID almost 2 years ago in Ohio and started therapy there moved back to SC about 7 months ago to get back in school, on disability, and back with family and friends though my parents have just sold their house and are moving to Florida. So currently I am in a men’s shelter in Myrtle Beach waiting for 4-6 months for my disability claim to go through the courts then am getting it transferred with me to Colorado so I can then go on campus to Narupa University instead of online for there contemplative psychology program and to be closer to my half sister Nora.

Two Approaches or a Third Option of My Own Design with the Help of My First DID Therapist

The first approach called integration is the eventual merging of all alters into one solid concrete personality. The second is newer and more holistic in my eyes even more realistic and focuses on becoming co-aware, developing strong coping mechanisms, dealing with trauma in the system, and getting rid of maladaptive coping mechanisms. Or my first really good therapist I’m currently waiting to find a new one since I moved back down south but she combined the too because she saw I was reluctant to be alone all the time which I felt intigration would eventually lead me too and also scared of some fragments and alters maladaptive coping strategies.

Be sure when you talk to therapists to see which if not both of these approaches they are willing to work with you towards. In my personal experience I believe a combination is best but it’s up to you and what you and your system and therapist come up with as a plan.

Stages of Treatment

There are 3 of Treatment depending on the approach choosen.

1st Stage

Is building trust, safety, and a safe environment for the whole system. As well as for the clinician to see and make sure DID is the proper diagnosis by meeting and seeing switching occurring. It’s centered on building trust between clinician and client, adaptive rather than maladaptive coping mechanisms, and addressing any behaviors such as suicidal ideation, self-mutalation, bulimia, anorexia nervosa, or addiction issues that could get in the way of the second stage. Also it is a time to treat any co-occuring conditions such as Bipolar, BPD, Major Depression, Autism, Learning Disorders that any alters in your system might have. Safety, stabilization, and symptom reduction. Development of Co-Consciousness is a main tenet of this stage and along into the second stage and third if chosing to keep a few alters around for company like I plan on doing.

2nd Stage

Memory work this is usually done doing psychodynamic or EMDR or and DBT combinations or a variety of different avenues your therapist can add or subtract to find the right one for your system. Memory work is the use of reconciliation between client and traumatic memories.

3rd Stage

Is either integration of all alters to a final fusion into one Identity or the fusion of some parts into other parts so there are less parts in a system then say anywhere from 2 to 5 in a system of 15 is example of fusion.

I was starting stage two in Ohio but my therapist quit to finish her doctorate and I moved back to South Carolina to get on disability and back into college so I will have to restart at Stage 1 because of some of my symptoms. But that’s not always the case.

So let’s take a minute to talk about switching and what that entails for both the clinician and the patient and my personal experiences of switches as some examples. Also switching can be consensual, forced, or triggered. Switches can be slow or fast. Slower ones usually being more consensual while more rapid ones tending to be triggered or forced switches.

So switching also know as changing alters can occur for a multitude of reasons. Mainly though in my experience some memory whether it’s implicit or explicit memory. Explicit memory is a memory that can be intentionally and consciously recalled. This is your memory of riding a bike, of falling over the handlebars and skinning your knee. The other is implicit memory, which is an experiential or functional form of memory that cannot be consciously recalled. So usually it can be anything from talking with my counselor about previous trauma’s to even an environmental flashback that can be a trigger for a switch.

Switching is usually unconsciously done by people with DID at least when starting treatment. As you start to grow and understand your system you can start to develop co-consciousness of switches. What helped me and helps me see my switching the most currently is journaling where I can visibly see my handwriting, grammar, and syntax change and even feelings as I am journaling change.

Personal Switching Experiences and Examples

I still currently have some switching that leaves me confused, disoriented, or even if really trigger I can experience amnesia of complete hours. For example not to long in I decided to see a friend of mine and drive my dad’s car without a license which was fine I am a great driver just didn’t pay parking tickets and lost it a while back anyways it was fine until he ended up doing airduster blacking out which I disliked being around and felt abandoned by him and therefore triggering me because he would blackout and forget I’d asked him to stop doing it so we could talk about some stuff and hang out. I then switched to another child/pre-teen alter who was triggered by abandonment took over my body and cussed at my friend and was not good because as I was doing that I crashed the car into the garage by accident kids can’t drive. I had no memory of the incident till the next day when I went for a walk and saw the garage door all messed up. So you can imagine how my dad reacted he doesn’t quite understand my diagnosis or that I literally am not 25 sometimes and have amnesia about things I say or do. Switching can also be more subtle. Like when my therapist is talking about the previous incident my protector/caretaker alter Jakob came out and I was co-conscious then and said “Why doesn’t my dad understand that I protect the kids but sometimes I fail and they call the kids liars because they don’t get it?” Or something to that effect.

Physical Signs of Switching

• Daydreaming, spacing out, or eyes glazed over
• Acting different, or using a different tone of voice or different gestures
• Suddenly switching between emotions or reactions to an event, such as appearing frightened and timid, then becoming bombastic and violent.
• Heavy blinking as if just waking up from sleep
• Mild muscle spasms or jerks as if a mild seizure
• Disorientation or confusion with surroundings
• Checking the clock or ones watch constantly
• Headaches mild or severe
• Adjusting clothing or posture
• Changes in syntax, tone, or vocabulary

Internal Changes With Switching

• Spacing out
• Depersonalization
• Derealization
• Blurred vision
• Feeling distanced or slowed down
• Feeling an alters presence
• Feeling time jumping
• Memory loss
• Sometimes even out of body experiences can occur

Two of those I need to go into more depth are depersonalization which is “the persistent feeling of observing oneself from outside one’s body or having a sense that one’s surroundings aren’t real.”. And Derealization which is ” Derealization is an alteration in the. perception or experience of the external world so that it seems unreal. Other symptoms include feeling as though one’s environment is lacking in spontaneity, emotional coloring, and depth.”

Why Switches Can Confuse Therpists, Families, and Friends?

So obviously I’ve written a lot about my experiences and signs of switching but why is it sometimes confusing, scary, or even at times unsafe for the people we care about or the therapists that are supposed to help use understand ourselves more?

I asked my first therapist treating me with DID this question and many times my alters have brought it up in therapy even before I was diagnosed with a simple “Why do my parents and friends sometimes say I do or say things and then accuse me of lying later when I say I had no memory of that happening?”

The simplest answer is it’s disconcerting for someone to overreact sometimes even drastically to a environmental or social situation or act childish when your a 25 year old male and you throw a temper tantrum and then have no memory of that occurring.

The more experience your therapist is with DID or trauma work in general will be a life saver when it comes to them understanding and being able to pick up on. To be a great therapist with this specific disorder you have to be a great body language reader and see the cracks before the patient does. Most therapists can engineer switches to occur and are taught to do this but only to ensure the safety of the system. For example, I used to be a self-mutilating and purging guy one of my alters still is though not anymore her name is Eabha and she’s 12. But this is how the conversation went something along these lines.

Host: I’m here because I’ve been cutting and purging again and I don’t know why I can’t stop.

********

Therapist: *recognized switch* Who am I talking to right now? And why have you been cutting yourself and making Andrew throw up?

Eabha: Eabha (childlike posture grabbed pillow to hug) Andrew (host) gets so emotional all the time and can’t handle the anxiety and depression so I help him numb it by cutting and purging because it ends the constant emotional stuff we go through constantly. I just want him to be happy. Life is tough but it makes him calm down we all calm down after that’s why. It’s not like I do it on purpose I just need a break and it’s easier.

Therapist: Eabha I understand you all feel so much but hurting yourself and making yourself sick is really not healthy is it?

Eabha: Guess not but works.

Therapist: How about this why don’t I teach you and Andrew some ways to deal with it without doing those things and you promise me to not do them for a week and just use them? And if they don’t work we can find something that does but you could’ve killed Andrew I understand you want a emotional break and are just trying to help so let me help you help him?

Eabha: Really? *shyly*

Therapist: Yes so can I speak to Andrew and you stay and listen carefully?.

Eabha: Okay I’ll do it for Andrew and everyone else *crying* (Side note I’m hazy but my therapist gave me her notes but this is where I became co-conscious for the first time)

Therapist: Andrew?

Me: Yes? *a little confused*

Therapist: Is Eabha listening?

Me: Yes *less hazy*

So that’s how a switch can be engaged would be a better word then engineered I think to be honest. But anyways my therapist taught me a EMDR coping mechanism called Containment Visualization where you contain your emotions or flashbacks or thoughts (be it a mind castle, house, or in my case I choose the titanic and a big safe sunken under the water) that you can’t handle until the next session and then can discuss them in a safe space. Therefore my therapist was able to let Eabha protect me and also able to protect my body and let Andrew eat and not damage my beautiful pale skin.

Summary

So sometimes my posts will have different syntax, vocabulary, or tone to them and that could be a sign that another alters present or as I did in this one I was co-conscient with Eabha to write about engaging other alters in therapy. The point I want to let be run home to all people with DID is that your alters are there for you they were adaptive coping mechanisms and yes switching at times can be scary even for me who is studying psychology and mostly know when it happens. But your alters are your biggest allies always going to be there to fight and protect you even those you think don’t serve a purpose or are hurting you are doing that for a reason. Now I have been diagnosed with DID for little over 2 years now and am just starting to become co-conscient and sometimes I do slip back as with my dad, my friend, and the car showed but the point is progress and Rome wasn’t built in a day neither were We so its going to take some time to rebuild and rekindle parts of ourselves through therapy work. Remember loving all your parts is the biggest and hardest step to take it took me a year and a half and 6 psych programs and 4 therapists to do so just take it slow. Get a good therapist that doesn’t judge you or classify you and one especially one you can talk to and all of your system can open up too eventually. It’s a tall order but We got this. DID PRIDE!!😊

Now there is a lot of stigmas associated with both professionals and people diagnosed with this disorder. Some professionals aren’t educated enough on what DID is or don’t even believe in its existence or believe therapists “give” clients the Disorder.

What really has pissed me off is the bad portayals of people often violent portrayals of the victims of this disorder. What professionals or laymen or sufferers of this disorder don’t understand is that everyone dissociates sometime. The way dissociation identity develops is usually before age of 7 from abuse, neglect, or any other traumatic experiences and since a childs psyche is so fragile their unconscious decides to split or compartmentalize the trauma away to deal with it. That’s why disorders dealing with trauma or neglect or abandonment like PTSD or Borderline Personality Disorder.

The stigma is mainly due to mainstream movies like “Split” or “Sybil” that inaccurately show DID.

Now concerning professionals only the stigmas often arise because most people who finally get treatment for DID have several previous mental health diagnoses, which had poor treatment outcomes, and in the course of an individual’s therapy you could switch or have what appear to be symptoms that don’t “add up”. So finding a therapist who deals with trauma and dissociative disorders is a priority once the diagnosis is made.

Any other reason is the stigma of Borderline Personality Disorder in the psychiatric community and some of the overlapping features of those. Actually most people with DID have a previous diagnosis or co-occuring diagnosis of BPD.

Thanks for joining me. I’ve intro’ed most of my alters on my main pages. But on the blog this is where you’ll be meeting the system and hopefully more will come to light for both of us.

Here are some commonly used types of Alters out there as well as not so common.

Caretakers: A caretakers role is to look after other members of the system and sometimes in the “real world” too. they are often a more gentle and caring person who sees the good in everyone. They also can be responsible for the internal and external environment and the safety of others.

Protectors: These alters are responsible for protecting the system as a whole and keeping the body from harm. They are risk minimisers and can be more firm and upfront about issues surrounding safety, wellbeing, external interactions and are often aware of trauma.

Gatekeepers: As this disorder is formed from serious traumatic events, these memories can be damaging and scary. It is a gatekeepers job to keep memories (and sometimes alters) away from the system to reduce the rick of flashbacks, new trauma, stress and worsening symptoms.

Littles: These alters are between ages 0-9. They are infants and children who are possibly stuck in the age of trauma or trauma time. This isn’t always the case but most often is. Littles can also be a distraction from trauma and memories and be completely carefree, happy, and living the childhood we missed.

Middles: This is the term given to teenage alters. These alters can represent rebellion, freedom, sexuality and other similar things that come with being in the stages of adolescents. These alters will naturally be very proud of who they are and be authentically themselves no matter what. This can be an escape for DID systems.

Persecutors: These alters are often called “bad alters” or “evil alters” because of what they where created to do. Persecutors are alters that are often more negative and difficult for the whole system and those in the external environment. They may self harm, leave scary notes, yell at others, destroy things externally that create joy, disagree with others about everything, be angry, overly sexual or emotional.

Fragments: Unlike alters, fragments are less 3D and may have only been created to serve one very specific purpose (cooking, cleaning, writing, exercise, showering, etc). They are smaller parts and have less responsibilities than that of alters but they are just as valid and important.

Introjects: These alters can be positive or negative with no in-between. A positive introject could be someone who looked after the child at times of distress (mother, friend, older sibling, etc), these alters are there to continue protecting the person with DID from similar situations and can often be very helpful. Negative introjects are often the someone who was the cause of trauma in the first place and this can be very distressing for DID systems.

Animal Alters: Yes, they are real. Animal alters are just as important as human alters as they can still protect and provide comfort. Animals like wolves, sharks, lions and bears are often seen to be strong and brave, this may help with feeling safe and protected. Animals like bunnies, cats, ducks and hamsters are seen to be soft, cuddly and gentle. This can provide joy and happiness to the system.

Internal Self-helper: Much like caretakers and protectors, these alters are caring, helpful and understanding. They focus on keeping the inner-world safe, enjoyable and clean as well as keeping check that everything goes to plan.

Host: This is simply the alter who is in control most of the time. This can be the “original” (like in my case), or be different completely. There can be more than one host in a system.

ANP: Apparently normal parts, are alters who seem to function without memories of trauma or any struggles with mental health. They appear to be completely fine and function as a normal person living a normal life.

Opposite sex alters: The purpose of having alters of the opposite sex or gender can be different across all systems. They are important and need to be accepted as part of the system like all others.

Sexual Alter: These alters can be created to make the body feel “loved”, “accepted”, “confident”, or “normal”. I put these in quotes as this all depends on the individual. These alters tend to be in late teen years or early twenties, but can be of any age.

Non-human alters: Much like animal alters, these parts can be created to provide, joy, protection or comfort. Dragons, fairies, goblins, wizards, unicorns, Pegasus or vampires can all be alters just like anything else. These mythical creatures can often be created due to what a child is able to imagine at this time of trauma to help distract from reality.

Supernatural alters: Angels, demons, ghosts, gods or spiritual beings can be created as a form of guidance and escape for the physical world. They are seen to be strong and influential beings that are there to protect.

Fictives/Factives: Fictives are characters from video games, movies, books, tv shows or other forms of media that a child has a strong attachment to and needed to replicate in order to feel safe and happy in times of trauma. Factives can be actors, singers, dancers, or just regular people that the child looked up to and, again, need in times of trauma.

NPC: This term means “none playable character” and is often seen in video games. As the name suggests they are not a normal alter but their role is to fill in gaps in the inner-world. Any of the types of alters I have written about above can also be NPCs and solely live in the inner-world.